I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I was on my 7th hour of ESPN’s College Basketball tip-off Marathon, when Brent “No one would be surprised if I was into deviant sex” Musberger read his promo. “Tune in tonight to see if Maya Moore and the Huskies can beat a team with a center who probably had a penis at some point in her life (paraphrased), as UConn tries to move closer to breaking John Wooden and UCLA consecutive games record!” I fucking lost my shit. Surely he didn’t just compare Maya Moore to Bill Walton. How could you fucking disrespect John Wooden like that? Those teams were some of the greatest collection of talent ever put together and now they’re being “challenged” by a team that couldn’t even beat the fucking Freshman boys team at my #111 High School?
Let’s be honest, the last question we should be asking is whether their streak is in the same category as UCLA. First off, who are these teams that they’ve beaten on their winning streak? Can their players even reach the basket with their shots? How many of their victories have ended with the other team crying? Are players even allowed to play when they’re on their #123 period? Sure he’s second in victories all-time for male Women’s Basketball coaches (next to Pat Summitt) but how the fuck can Geno Auriemma respect himself? You fucking know Jim Calhoun just constantly rags on him. The point is, the UCLA and UConn dynasties not only don’t belong in the same sentence; they don’t even belong in the same fucking language. While bros might fucking love #129 talking about Sports – there’s just no place for Women in that conversation.
The only times that bros ever support Women’s athletics is when they’re competing in Beach Volleyball, Lingerie Football, or Blow Job-Giving Contests. Outside of that, it’s all just a fucking waste of time and money. There’s a reason why the WNBA loses a shitload of money every year – because no one wants to watch that shit. I’d seriously rather get my nutsack sliced climbing over a fence than be forced to sit through a fucking Sparks – Comets game. And it’s not like Women’s athletics can market to the male audience with their sexuality. They’re all fucking #98 lesbians and not like the hot lesbians you see in all those “Where The Boys Aren’t” documentaries – these bitches are fucking beasts.
Bros probably wouldn’t have such a fucking problem with Women’s Sports if it weren’t for that Title IX bullshit. Title IX represents everything that is wrong with allowing Women to participate in Government. First the fucking Government says that there has to be equal amount of teams, but what the fuck’s next? If there’s a female President is she gonna force us to watch their fucking games, too?
As excited as bros get every Saturday morning when Lee Corso puts on his mascot head and starts strutting around like some fucking idiot, a part of them dies inside the second ESPN cuts away to the early game. That’s because they’re greeted to a Big Ten stadium by the nasally voice of none other than Pam Fucking Ward. Seriously, who’s the fucking genius in charge at ESPN that thinks Pam Ward is better than any other available male announcer. I mean, even that fucking “Boom Goes The Dynamite” kid would do a better job that her. There’s a place for female announcers – it’s called the fucking Home Shopping Network.
“But NYB! Playing sports gives girls confidence!” Confidence to do what? Win a high school basketball game 4-3? I mean I get it – women are jealous of men and will do anything in their power to make things “fair” aka eliminate football programs just so they can have their precious fucking rhythmic gymnastics team. But come on, can’t women build self-esteem from a more respected competition? How about signing up for a Hawaiian Tropic #128 Bikini Contest? Or if bikinis are too “revealing” or “sexist” then look no further than a good old fashioned Wet T-shirt contest! Not physical enough? How about time-honored traditions such as Mud Wrestling or Foxy Boxing? Not only do these competitions give girls confidence, but even if they lose, they still might be able to win the fucking jackpot and bang a bro. Talk about a win–win!
Society preaches equality, however society’s definition of equality is fucking bullshit. Society promotes “equality” by taking away a bro’s rights to play Sports just so girls can get a free-ride to College because they’re freakishly tall and can make a free-throw without shooting it “Granny-style.” Society has made laws stripping bros of the ability to be bros for way too long. When will these injustices end? Before long we’ll be forced to watch Pam Ward cover Monday Night Women’s Indoor Volleyball. Is this a World we want to live in? If you ask me, Global Warming and the War should be the last thing on Congress’s mind. It’s time to put it to sleep. It’s time to outlaw Women’s Sports.
Posts
67 comments:
gotta love how ESPN took off the Ohio State/Florida game with three fucking minutes left to show Uconn/Baylor women's, even though it was already on ESPN2
More true words have never been spoken
I'm a girl, and even though bras need to stay in shape, there's really no reason for us to have "Women's Sports". Running & yoga should be all we need -- lean, limber, and untelevised.
Thankyou for this, I can relate back to my highschool days when my lax team lost all our free gear and apparel because girl's rugby team required funding. GIRLS RUGBY, CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIT? Since when did society want to give fat girls confidence like that? Rugby girls give bros nightmares anyway its the worst of the worst all on one squad.
Probably the funniest post in a while. I would rather listen to Stephen Hawking announce Northwestern - Illinois than that lesbo grandmother Pam Ward. I also think that I would rather watch univision for 9 straight hours than the women's basketball tournament selection show. Shit's ridiculous. Don't even get me started on women's rugby...
Shouldn't the B in WNBA be in parenthesis because it's not really "basketball"?
Honestly, the ONLY good thing about women's sports is that it keeps the freshman 15 off of those bitches. Honestly, my ex played varsity soccer, was the fastest on her team - i challenged her to 100 yd dash and she quit after 25 yards… "athletes" my aching ass
after pregaming for several hours, i statred watching the college tip off marathon. as the day went on, the drunker i became. when i saw that WOMAN covering a mens basketball i sobered up real fast and it almost made me sick think that that woman is feeding innocent lie she is making up on the spot.
haha i hate title IX so much it is the worst thing to ever happen to bros
Women sports should be on comedy central.
I agree with the post, but NYB, cmon! Coming off a little bitter here. I'm all about hating on things we dislike, but it sounds like someone lost in HORSE last night to Tamika Catchings.
Ps, totally had to google "names of wnba players" to find that one.
Great rant. Spot on as usual.
Tack on that hoebag Doris Burke to the list. Who let that troll move from the sideline to the analyst booth? She ruins any great big east matchup.
To the anonymous who said this:
"I agree with the post, but NYB, cmon! Coming off a little bitter here. I'm all about hating on things we dislike, but it sounds like someone lost in HORSE last night to Tamika Catchings.
Ps, totally had to google "names of wnba players" to find that one."
Get the fuck off of this site. This isn't bitter, its a liberating piece of fucking literature. NYB speaks for every bro here. Seriously though, leave.
i play college hockey and i used to date a female athlete at my school...watching her games was like watching fucking paint dry...those girls would get dominated in rec league by men
Bros- I couldn't even read this post. I saw women's sports in the headline and my eyes starting watering in rage (like Michael Broleone when Kay told him she had an abortion). I just want to say this (before I go back to stocking up on more four broko before four lokobition begins)- women's sports are like an anti-bro elixir. Society wants you to drink in these butch pieces a true bro would never slam, combined with competition so below a bro's radar that it doesn't even register or exist. I know for one this bro will never be held down to society's efforts at to bring a bro down, its like communism. I'm not about to march along with Stalin (title 9). Ight gotta keep stocking up peace bros.
I just learned about the abomination that is field hockey. According to several credible sources women mainly play field hockey and not regular, the ice kind. Women play field hockey because of the fact that ice, in large quantities, has the ability to make bitches "act right." As we all know "acting right" is not allowed by league of women voters,i.e. Hillary.
The only place women should have in sports is on the sideline (Erin Andrews). Slampieces are needed to give student sections of 20,000 the realization that they can still get it up (after pounding a 30 before the game) once they see a slampiece like ms. andrews.
NYB, I think it's time for an equal pay post. That should be riveting.
my bros and I call them underwater sports because that's the only logical way things could be moving that slowly.
I hate when I'm watching the ESPN ticker and they scroll women's college basketball scores. Do they think anyone actually gives a shit? Now I have to wait longer to see the scores I actually care about.
even the sport where practically no skill is needed (nascar), a girl(danica patrick) is being shoved down our throat and still cant win
UCLA Represent! Hard to be more Bro than that history of winning and fratting.
playing basketball is one of those things along with riding a bike and complaining about womans rights that no woman can look good doing. They need to focus more on things that make them look pretty like cooking, cleaning, and sucking dick
I remember what big news it was when Candice Parker dunked in a game. It was the first time anybody had dunked in a women's basketball game. Her one dunk was the equivalent of Wilt Chamberlain's 100 point game. Pathetic.
"Shouldn't the B in WNBA be in parenthesis because it's not really "basketball"? "
In that case, the W might as well be in parenthesis too
GREAT POST. Title IX is a load of horseshit as are women in sports. Watching a womens middle school basketball game might be the most painful experience ive ever been through. and get these freaking women off of ESPN. I swear half of the announcers/anchors/commentators on ESPN are women now when they dont even play sports! (I dont count womens "sports" as sports). Seriously (except for erin slamdrews) women need to GTFO of football. WOMEN HAVE NEVER PLAYED FOOTBALL, why are they qualified to say anything about it?! Rachel Nichols makes my ears bleed!
Great post NYB. However, I think there is one exception to the rule of no female sports announcers, and that is Erin Andrews. Bro king status needs to be awarded to any bro who slays that slampiece
i have to say, i totally agree with this one hundred percent but in my mind the worst fucking female "sport" (if we can call them that) is field hockey. my senior year our school got a brand new 2 million dollar turf football field and half the days of the season we had to practice in dirt because "fockey" had a fucking game?! i literally would ask the players if they were kidding when they played this retarded game. fuck womens sports. crime agaisnt nature. how can a women play sports in the kitchen?
Wait, women have sports? All the bitches I know stay in the kitchen where they belong!
The only thing that women are athletic at is making me food when come home and pancakes in the morning when im to hungover to move.
Only chance I'm watching women's sports is if Erin Andrews broadcast's naked while riding a sybian.
As a Michigan bro I put up with too much Pam Ward. This is exactly why I'm going into broadcasting, so I can rid the world of that fail of announcer, and do a favor to bros all around the world.
i HATE womens sports. no one is going to pay to watch women's sports because they just aren't as good. the wnba is the worst because of those stupid new commercials that say "basketball is basketball" and show all the wnba players shooting short range jump shots and lay-ups, while dwight howard and lebron james throw down in a defender's face. I don't know about you all but those seem like two completely different games to me...
Title IX can suck my dick
There's technically no such thing as "women's" professional sports, because the fugly tranny bulldykes that play them are not real women.
Seriously - I was banging this one slampiece in college who invited me to come with her to watch a WUSA game. (WUSA was the shit-tastic women's professional soccer league they tried to start after the '99 women's world cup. It predictably failed after two years because no one in America gives a shit about soccer, let alone women's soccer).
When she asked me this, I proceeded to laugh at her face for 30 seconds or so and then left her at the bar to go tell my bros what she asked me, to which they also laughed their asses off. I'd rather watch little league teeball than whatever bullshit women's soccer league the Title IX feminazis try to shove down America's throat. Newsflash, whores: We don't give a shit about your dreams of second-rate "athletic glory". If you want attention, why don't you try the exciting and glamorous world of porn.
Seriously, the only spectator sport that women should be allowed to do is pole dancing. If they want to do some other kind of athletics, they're free to pursue running (to prevent them from becoming fat and ugly) or yoga (to tighten up their asses and gain the flexibility for certain sexual positions). But nothing that involves contact - nothing turns me off more than a slampiece with bruises or scars.
The only purpose of women's athletics is to keep them in shape so that they remain attractive to Bros. If they want us to watch, they should be naked - but only the hot ones. Those broke-ass rugby/basketball manbeasts can keep their clothes on and play in a windowless bunker somewhere so that no Bro has to be accidentally subjected to their hideousness.
If I see one more women's basketball game shown on ESPN, I'm gonna throw my TV out the window. Seriously, guys - there's plenty of real (i.e. men's) sports going on right now. You don't need to keep humoring these dykes.
the Uconn streak is total horse shit, but hey,those bitches have made me about 100 bucks through betting on then.
My sister plays soccer at a university. Every single person on her team is a fucking ugly dyke. Every university women's sports team with the exception of beach volleyball and some volleyball players should be covered in a big yard bag when the walk around in public
Can we please not call them womens sports....i think womens hobbies is better. cuz their pathetic attempt at athleticism is hardly a "sport"
I remember what big news it was when Candice Parker dunked in a game. It was the first time anybody had dunked in a women's basketball game. Her one dunk was the equivalent of Wilt Chamberlain's 100 point game. Pathetic.
first dunk in a women's college game was in 1982.... before candace parker was born........ nice try though
I must concede though, I am a huge fan of competitive sandwhich making.
During an early college football weekend last year, we were doing some case races at the bro-pad with our whole crew and a half-dozen slampieces from our regular stable down the street.
We were watching the USC game, and during halftime they were showing various sports highlights from around the country. Then, for some unholy reason, they decided to show brief highlights of a WNBA playoff game from earlier that day.
Our house's DOFF walks back into the living room after grabbing a brew, sees a group of hideous amazons in baggy shorts and tanktops running around on the TV, and immediately yells out "What the hell is this shit?!?"
One of us dejectedly tells him: "Women's professional basketball."
To which he responds: "How the fuck did they manage to fit a basketball court inside a kitchen?"
Even the slampieces laughed their asses off at this.
whoever wrote this is a an absolute idiot. get a reality check. If you think that all women who play sports are lesbians you are completely wrong. Jennie Finch is an olympic and professional athlete with a husband and child and she was asked to model at one point in her career. So she can't pitch in a softball game but she is allowed to pose in some swim suits for you. You are ridiculous.
boise state BROncos,
you are an extreme bro hater for ever sobering up. Also bros don't live in fucking idaho. Thats the most unbro state in the union. If you live in idaho you have no god damn reason to ever sober up.
I'm pretty sure its in the geneva convention that only womens volleyball is allowed to be televised.
Veni vedi broci- I came, I saw, I bro'ed.k
Trust me bro having your nuts sliced is not better than watching WNBA. It fucking sucks, not worth it.
Spot on NYB. I was the captain of the hockey team for 3 years in high school, we had a girls u-19 team that won nationals virtually every year, their best player tried out for our team my senior year. She ran into the boards on the first day trying to stap and got hurt, cried, and left the ice for good never to return. Females should only be able to be athletic trainers (if they're hot enough) and sideline reporters. Leave the competing to a species that can actually become athletic.
Please consider posting something about not helping your family with chores and stuff while at home for thanksgiving break
nice post, but i'm not entirely sure these things are actually women. have you guys seen this bitch? sounds/looks like a guy to me. used to be they locked up people like this in carnivals...
solid post NYB. I can't respect women's sports when in basketball bitches miss open fast break layups and airball open three pointers. But one question, why you gotta hate on Lee CorsBRO? that dude is the fucking man and the source of a good laugh
can't believe espn keeps comparing that shit. solid post NYB. next week gotta do blue mountain state most bro show of all time
Why dont women just lower the rim? they play with smaller balls, shorter 3pt arcs, and bigger tits. Honestly if your sport allows you to take a year off for pregnancy, just quit
I've always thought that womens sports are kinda like that little kid in the arcade who didnt put coins in and just sits there watching the game. They think they're playing, but its time to get out of the way so the big boys can play
the true bro hater is jemele fucking hill. that bitch thinks she knows men's sports, but she just spews a bunch of bullshit out of her never-fucked ass. i know espn hired her to fill the minority woman slot but come on, get that bitch back to the kitchen where she fucking belongs.
A few years ago the USA Woman's hockey team played the boy's team from Warroad High School in northern Minnesota.
The year before, Warroad had a dominant state tournament a won the Class A (smaller school division) Championship. Most of their best players graduated and had gone on to D3 or D1 programs, and so in the season this game was played they were a very average, middle of the pack team. The 2 teams played the woman's rules, ie. no checking, a HUGE part of real hockey.
Final Score: Warroad- 3 USA Woman- 1.
You all might be the biggest assholes I have ever read about. Who the hell do you think you are? Go to hell. All of you who said shit about women not participating in government and outlawing women's sports. This is disgusting and makes me want to vomit. I am sickened to know that boys (you all will NEVER be true men) still are close minded enough to think this way in today's world. Your dicks are probably too small to get any, so you resort to publishing anonymous comments on an idiotic blog. Go to hell.
"You all might be the biggest assholes I have ever read about. Who the hell do you think you are? Go to hell. All of you who said shit about women not participating in government and outlawing women's sports. This is disgusting and makes me want to vomit. I am sickened to know that boys (you all will NEVER be true men) still are close minded enough to think this way in today's world. Your dicks are probably too small to get any, so you resort to publishing anonymous comments on an idiotic blog. Go to hell. "
-You are just lucky that you still have the right not to read this site. Use it, or shut the fuck up.
To the anonymous bro-hating feminazi slampig two posts above above:
Shut the fuck up, ho. We never said that women should be banned from all sports - on the contrary, there are plenty of exciting sports that we Bros support women participating in, such as: pole dancing, foxy boxing, oil wrestling, mud wrestling, jello wrestling, naked trampoline jumping, and porn. However, there is a hotness requirement for slampieces who want to participate in these activities, and judging by your bitter mouth diarrhea, I'm going to guess that you're a dateless fatty who's far too ugly to make the cut.
Also, the women's sports above should never be broadcast on a real (i.e. men's) sports channel like ESPN. They should be put in a dedicated hot bitches sports network on cable. ESPN is for real sports like football, basketball, etc. And no, the WNBA does not count as "basketball". If I wanted to see a bunch of beastly amazons in baggy clothes, I'd go to the Lilith Fair or a Hilary Clinton fundraiser or wherever you bulldyke fatties congregate.
Get the fuck off this site and get back in the kitchen so you can make me a sammich, woman.
^^^^^Nicely said.
Blame it on the letsbian's. They're all just pissed because they don't have dicks.
comparing the uconn's women's basketball team to john wooden's legendary ucla teams is slapping wooden, kareem abdul jabbar, bill walton, henry bibby, and everyone else part of that dynasty in the face. Is this a joke? i'm sick of this shit and considering boycotting espn until it stops. there aren't even enough women's basketball players to fill all the rosters. feminists suck and this rant is right on
Hey NYB, I hope you don't mind but I took the initiative and sent this to the folks who hand out Pulitzers an Nobel Literature prizes.
I'd say the standard for women's sports should be entertainment value as compared to a group of men doing the same thing... Which narrows it down to beach volleyball, mud wrestling, etc.
Bitches Lost
The thing thats the stupidest is when they fucking have men vs women 3 pt contest and they say its fair when their fucking using balls half the size of the mens ball bitches have to have an advantage to even compete and they still lose. fuck womens sports
The worst bitch in sports is jackie fucking macmullen. the only thing she should be doing on sportscenter is making sandwiches for bros like tony reali and the pti guys. there's a REAL women's sport.
I was just talking about this to my roommate yesterday. He told me how his ELEMENTARY school soccer team beat his town's VARSITY (HIGH SCHOOL) women's soccer team. Fucking pathetic. The coach is clearly delusional when comparing women's sports to men's, on any level. Even feminists don't touch this argument with a 10 foot pole, it's a no-brainer
It depends on how you define a "sport", but...in all fairness, let's give it up for women's Gymnastics in the Olympics (or AAU trials, or whatever)! Of course, that would be a "sport" that's really Completely about something else ; D, but, it counts. Very few people know jack about the WNBA or the World Cup, but if you said the name "Mary Lou Retton" to 'em, even after all these years, they'd say, "Yeah! I know her. What about her?"
I was reading along, enjoying this post but not too invested, when suddenly shit got real. As an Iowa grad, the point about Pam Ward hit way too close to home. I'd rather hear the last dying breaths of every family member of mine than hear her fake her way through explaining a zone blitz scheme. And then ESPN double downed on dykes with Beth Mowins!? Brocism alive and well, sadly.
Thank you! I am not sexist...but jeez ladies cant we have one thing. I live when a dumb ass girl goes to break a record (such as blocking) and they say its more than ncaa boys or girls. That bitch couldnt block the worst college boys player if we tied him to a chair. Please...give women their own cute oittle sports channel and let the only ones on espn be swimsuit models standing in the background.....not speaking.
Post a Comment