Every social group in America has that one special place where they are completely in their element. For example: Rednecks have Tractor Pulls, Old People have Florida/cemeteries, and teenage girls have Planned Parenthood clinics. While there is no doubt fun to be had at all of these destinations, there is no better pairing than when bros go to a place where hookers roam the streets as respected citizens. A place where bars never close. A place where if you aren’t fucked up out of control, even the police will call you a bitch. If you are not a fucking retard and actually read the topic of this posting, then you already know – I’m talking about fucking Vegas.
When bros go to Vegas, they want to be able to devote all their money toward the most important aspects of the trip: Gambling, drinking, and strippers. Therefore, bros never waste their money on staying at places like the Bellagio or The Venetian. Yeah you could spend more and get a suite, but seriously, how much time are you going to actually be spending in the room? And when you are in Vegas, if you manage to get any sleep at all, there is no chance you are going to remember going to bed, so why the fuck waste your money? Also, even though bros will be dropping hundreds of dollars gambling, there is no chance they eat anywhere other than the fast food court.
Once you’re checked in, its time to hit the fucking tables. If you ever want to find a group of bros, check one of three places – the #30 poker room, black jack tables, or sports book. Bros never play slots or any of those other shitty table games because bros know those odds are fucking terrible. Bros have all read “Bringing Down the House,” therefore they are pretty much professionals at Black Jack. Bros love to count cards, but usually get too drunk off the free drinks the drink slut brings around, so instead they just ridicule the play of others at the table. Bros also know everything there is to know about sports – so you better fucking believe they hit the sports book. Straight bets are for fucking bitches, so bros parlay or tease everything.
After they place their bets, bros go find a bar to watch their games. Vegas is known for their club scene, but as we’ve established – bros fucking #45 hate clubs. Honestly, you’re in fucking Vegas – sure the slam pieces are nice at clubs, but who the fuck wants to pay $50 just to get into someplace where you have to pay another $200 for a table, just so you can buy a fucking bottle of Grey Goose for $500. Not to mention you have to dress up in suits to hang out with roided out Guido fucks waving their arms in the air to some shitty Lady Gaga remix. Are you fucking kidding me? First of all you are already fucked up from the free cocktails at the Black Jack table so just find a bar with some hot slam piece bartenders, hit on them for a couple hours while you watch your games, and wait, for it's only a matter of time until the Grade A meat to be on display.
After a long, hard day of gambling and heavy drinking, you've earned some ‘me’ time. For bras ‘me’ time means a manicure/pedicure/spending more of their husband/boyfriend’s hard earned money. For bros, it means getting some fucking titties in your face. Vegas strip clubs are the shit. Much like young men and women flock to Hollywood to become “a star,” hundreds of young women flock to Vegas every year – to become a whore. That’s right, that stripper giving you that lap dance is not trying to raise money for school – she’s trying to break into fucking porn and practicing on men nightly. Bros don’t need to pay for sex, so while getting a lap dance, I always like to try to offend the strippers as much as possible, knowing that they won’t get up and leave because they need their money, most likely to feed their children. “What’s it like to bang fat hairy old men for money?” “At what age did you officially become a whore?” and “What did you do to your father that forced him to sexually abuse you?” are all winners. Also, anything related to the fact that there is an 80% chance that they will end up beaten to death with a hammer and buried in the desert is golden. Making a stripper cry earns you instant bro king status.
Honestly, if you consider yourself a bro and have never been to Vegas get your bros together and sack up. Sure you probably won’t be able to eat solid food for a week after your trip but it will be fucking worth it. Bros fucking love Vegas.
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83 comments:
Vegas is too hot!
Fucking bro hater bros love the heat anytime you can mix binge drinking in a pool while being jacked and tan earns bro points
"binge drinking in a pool while being jacked and tan"... You are a fucking guido I bet.
Well said NYB. Agreed that staying at the shitty hotels is a much better idea. We went last summer and stayed at this piece of shit hotel and completely fucked the room up. My bro ended up puking in our pool which was hilarious because some poor person had to clean it all up. We later continued to drink and snuck into the pool at the Wynn. After hitting on slam pieces for a while I ended up winning 400 bucks at the black jack table and hit the strip club. Fucking bros love Vegas.
Being in Vegas gives bros major bro power.
BRO POWER! BROS #1!!
Last time I went to a strip club I ended up banging a stripper; not as cool as you would think. Vegas is the shit. Bros are the shit.
BRRRRRRROOOOO POWWWERRRR!!!
respect nyb
Hookers and bros are the shit
Can we get a Lax shout out, Nothing has gotten me more bras than being recruted for lax. No college athletes crush as much box or as many beers as laxers. Just the site of mid high sox, helmets with ill tilt and fresh short gets panties to drop
To even suggest lax athletes get more box than football players might be the most retarded comment ever written.
In some colleges, lax is not even a sport- it's a club sport, which makes it a club. Club sports are not real college athletic programs, they just pretend to be.
As a former college athlete at a BCS school (not Lax or Football) who has lived with both Lacrosse and Football players, I will say that Lacrosse crushes a lot more (and better quality) box.
Staying in shitty hotels is for poor people. Not caring about destroying nice hotel rooms is the bro move. Take a lap.
LIAR
im pretty sure that if tim tebow wasn't one of those jesus-freak religious fags (with a gf, not like THAT matters but...) he could single-handedly smash more chicks than EVERY lacrosse player in the enitre country put together...
and im sure getting "recruted" for lax was the only reason you even got INTO college in the first place, seeing that you have the writing skills of a below average third grader...
Last time i checked, lacrosse was widely considered to not even be a sport. And I'm a fuckin genius.
come on, lax is a total bro sport. it is expensive and for rich people. bros are rich. furthermore, flow (look it up) is fucking sick. i swear, i think of all the slam pieces i've seen, the majority spent their next morning wearing a 'lax world' or 'lax splash' t-shirt on their walk of shame back home.
lax is the shit, and anyone who thinks it is not a sport is totally poor, or not from the eastern seaboard, and thus not a real bro.
lax is as bro as beer, slamming slampieces and making girls cry. who do you think pioneered the mesh shorts+rainbows look? laxers.
if you don't think that lax is a bro sport, turn in your fucking white hat and go home.
this is just stupid talk.
everyone knows lax is not a sport. i laugh when reading the posts claiming that it is a sport.
good joke! funny!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nqg01Nk3SYI
All your arguments are irrelevant. Lax is the dominant sport
Lax may be all and well on the Eastern Seaboard but playing on a club team out in the west gets you less pussy than living in the Dorms. Bro's are the shit.
If lacrosse was a dominant sport, it would have a professional league that is widely followed such as
NFL
MLB
NHL
NBA
Lacrosse is about as dominant of a sport as soccer is, which means lacrosse is nothing.
Yes there is professional lacrosse. Do people watch it or remotely care about it at all? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Therefore, it doesn't count.
Also, if it did count, it would not commonly be a club sport at universities, it would be a varsity sport. So, it's obvious that many colleges in America don't consider lacrosse to be a real sport.
Lacrosse players usually fail at other sports, so they turned to something where real athletes don't compete... lacrosse. Here, they deceive fans (just their parents) into thinking they are somewhat athletic. This is because all of the athletic bros are playing football, baseball, basketball, or hockey.
Lacrosse is stupid. End of story. Nice try.
fucking rugby is the real box pounders sport cause i mean slam pieces come out and see you getting the shit beat outta you on the field they say "hey i want him to beat up my pussy in between the sheets" stay real bros
Lax is the ultimate bro sport. Taking football extremely seriously means working out and playing the sport constantly and not giving any time to bro activities. Tim Tebow, perfect example. Taking lacrosse extremely seriously means getting plastered the night before games, dipping on the ride to the game and smoking weed and banging slampieces afterwards. Oh and also still fucking dominating the lax field. Not that football isnt great. I'd rather watch the NFL than professional lax any day but compare a varsity laxer at a D1 school to a varsity football player at a D1 school and the laxer is clearly the superior bro. Laxers also dont wear tight pants and touch eachothers asses after every play
You guys are all retarded. Lax bros are the original bros. In fact, I think the qualification for being a true bro should be to have played at one point in their life EITHER lax or hockey. College lacrosse players (at the appropriate bro universities) are the pinnacle of all things bro, they black out the hardest and crush the hottest slampieces. If you think otherwise you're just kidding yourself and jealous that some lax bro had a threesome with your girlfriend and your sister.
lacrosse players have no BRO POWER.
Feel the bro power!
We have strayed from the topic of Vegas. Playin lac is fine so is football as long as ur crush beers and slam pieces on the reg.
Vegas is wild. I only disagree with nyb br-ost in one sense. Rouletter and craps are major bro moves. Nothing beat bein in the casino dropping hundreds in the hotels at 3 am. Chicks walk out of clubs which we hate as bros and see you with a huge stack of chips atthese tables. Try always flock cuz chicks like bros and money( bros already have money obvioulsy). Bras feel a part of the action at these table they are like put it on red or let them roll the dice. Chicks basically are on their knees alreay if u let them roll the dice atthe craps table.
I let one slam piece roll the dice for me and she won me 400$ and then I nailed her. She or free drinks so I dint have to buy her any cuz she was playing and then I smashed her out.
Try to argue there is a better method out there.
Do wok, slam chicks, win money, free booze
if any bro disgrees they are no fuckin bro at all and would rather play keno
ihsv
The kid above me is a fucking tool. The only thing you ever banged out is your real doll.
http://www.realdoll.com/
Rocky bal-broa
watch your mouth you east coast tennis shoes, bent dirty hat(with stupid college team name like Carolina cocks thinking that's funny), and puca shell or hemp necklace wearing homo
REAL BROS PLAY CRAPS AND CLEAN HOUSE!
IF BROS ARE RICH WHY DON'T THEY GET NICE @$$ SUITES IN VEGAS
Being a former hockey player myself, I would go out on a limb and say that HOCKEY is more expensive to play than lacrosse - aside from having to wear/buy more expensive equipment, ice time is FAR more expensive that playing on a grass field for free...
Hockey > Lacrosse
Hockey is definitely more expensive but the people that play lacrosse are wealthier on average. There are a lot of great lakes area bumblers that spend half their paychecks getting their kids rink time. High level lacrosse is still mostly played in prep schools.
Rugby players are fucking Bros and beat the shit out of preppy as lax and hockey players (even though lax is a sweet sport, other than D1lax, all lax players are small) Football and Rugby players are fucking meaty and get mad respect from all bitches and every fraternity because they dont care and arnt scared..BROS
Radford Rugby 2008 NATIONAL CHAMPIONS
Mario Bropez is obviously not a bro, Radford is probably some shitty college, therefore he can't be a true bro. True bros attend top tier universities
I have respect for hockey, in our school its excepted that Hockey kids pack much bigger bombs and laxers bone much better slam pieces. Other than that, both bros are pretty similar.
You faggot bro haters are obviously hating because you failed at your sport and now receive no pussy. You might as well marry the girl you hooked up with on prom night because no slam pieces get with washed up high school athletes. You are not a bro
Wow the Delusional Bros (aka BRAS that just dont know it yet)are in full force commenting on todays post. I agree all the way with Bro'neal!!! Roulette is the shit and Craps makes every slampiece wet. "Here baby blow on these dice for good luck, then you can blow me after"! How much better does it get?
Hey Mario Radford why dont you attend a REAL BRO's school you lax pussy! Come try to hang at ASU and see how long you last, bra! I remember my first beer hahaha...
IHSV Epsi Upsi
Vegas is fuckin awesome. Hooray for counting cards at blackjack tables and getting free drinks.
Over the top once again NYB. Bros are the shit.
Radford is a piece of shit. You cannot go to Radford and be a bro, you are clearly too poor and too stupid. The Vegas is the shit
Radford? Saying "Radford 2008 rugby national champs" is like calling Richmond the 2008-2009 NCAA football champs. It's D2...False advertising
The only thing Radford is National Champions of is having the highest STD rate in the country.
All Im sayin is Rugby and Football deserve mad bro cred and other than D1 lax players all other lax players are small as fuck...Im not repping Radford im reppin Rugby and I will till I die(cuz a bro dont give a fuck), D2 schme 2, I have a National Championship ring, and bras love that shit...last time I checked, this site was for Bros. . . now it just seems like a bunch of brohating bras who like to run there mouths and bitch about everything...
Saying, "I play lacrosse" is the same as coming out of the closet.
True that.
lax is for bro-haters. no true bro would ever consider playing lax.
true bros play real sports.
lax is as cool as the wnba
This video obviously depicts GDI bro haters, but still an amusing concept.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaS6mlUS5Kw&feature=related
By the way I played football and baseball, yet I still believe that lax is the ultimate bro sport.
everyone knows lax is not a bro sports and that every lax player is a complete non-bro
it's just known: if you want to be a bro, never consider playing lax.
if you want to be a bro-hating loser, play lax.
simple as that.
lax is for girls
as stated above lax is for people who suck at real sports (hockey, baseball, basketball, and football.)
so is rugby
go play some ultimate frizbee you fucking bro-haters!
hahaha this site is for bros so go start ur own BRASlovethissite.com so you girls can gossip! Oh and sweet championship ring! did you get it out of the cereal box? and by Bras lovin it do you mean those fags you play grab ass with in the shower? Fuck Radford, Fuck Rugby & Lacrosse! Play a real BROs sport and smash some box like a real BRO acctually does, not that boring missionary shit like your grandma still does
God damn Rick, ur such a Bro its unbelievable. How did you learn how to be such a bro anyway? I bet you text NYB all of his sweet ideas for these posts. . .either way calm down man, your working to hard doing all that brohating. . and Championship Rings are fucking awesome real bros clearly all want one. . .
Special Olympics Medal > D2 National Championship.
If its not D1, it doesn't count.
Its BROcho Cinco or Terrell BROwens today (whichever you prefer). Im BRAhating, theres a difference, and clearly everyone else agrees so i believe ur standing alone on this one Mario. Im just doing my job to weed out the BRAS because you are a delusional bro. Ur like a gay guy that just doesnt know it yet, and i bet you think ur straight too...hahaha! REAL BROS dont learn how to be BROS, it just comes natual, but attending Radford certainly aint gunna teach you man. Ur right though, i should text NYB all my great ideas cause those are the only kind i have. And i am calm. Have fun with ur ring man! Do ur buddys complain about the pain the HUGE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP D-3 RUGBY RING causes them while you fist them in the ass? Thats what rugby girls do right?
Being a bro fucking evolved from lax. You can say whatever you want about how football and baseball players are the ultimate bros but i play football lax and basketball and i can tell you nothing is more bro than Lax. If you think otherwise, you have no sense of bro history and are a bro-hater. read a fucking book
Mario, Dude, Rugby isn't Bro. No slam peices say "hey lets go to that shitty division 3 rugby game down at the fucking bandfields." truth be told, I hope your ready for it. Rugby isn't american. So not only is it not a Bro sport, its not american. Aids.
Lacrosse on the other hand is a true bro sport, when we arent tearing up the field and getting laid, we are drinking with our fellow bros. Rugby players on the other hand are forcing people to come to our games and talking about our anti-american/bro sport, because no one else is paying attention to it. So go ahead and watch your austrailian tv. I'll wear my american flag boxers while I fuck your girlfriend, doggy style.
Vegas is the fucking shit. Once did a 16 hour stretch at the same crap table which wound up being worth over 5 g's, of which a portion was obviously par-laid into a simultaneous pair of slam pieces in my hotel suite. Craps is awesome, especially when you're rolling the dice...going on a long roll and winning a shitload of money is a great way to seriously boost your bro-cred.
Anyone who doesn't fucking love Vegas is a serious fucking bro-hater.
If you think lax is a sport you are retarded.
If you think lax players are bro you are wrong. Lax players are homos.
LAX is not a sport!
lacrosse isnt a real sport??? are you fucking retarded??? not only is lacrosse a great sport... but anyone who plays lacrosse is bro as fuck. and just because you were fat and played offensive lineman in high school doesnt make you any less of a pussy. and you think BASEBALL is a real sport??? you fucking swing a bat 3 times a game, stand in the field for half the game, bench for the other half. WOW,give me a fucking break. what a joke, fucking bro haters
and oh yeah, dudes wear jewelry while playing baseball. thats how little of chance of physical contact there is. THEY WEAR FUCKING JEWELRY
Look you slack-jawed faggots. NYB is obviously some fucking Perez Hilton wannabe. True bros don't fucking post on some lame-ass website about what "bros like." This whole website is a fucking joke. And, yes, I have been Vegas, been coked out of my fucking gord, banging strippers and rolling bones til the fucking sun came up. Fuck all you posers.
True Bros live in Cincinnati. Home of BROcho Cinco. Lacrosse is not american. Hulk Hogan is american. Lacrosse used to be played by poor indians who couldn't afford clothes - or a ball for that matter- and used some dude's head. Not a bro move at all.
Googlessss
next blog topic:
bros love wearing hats
"Ur like a gay guy that just doesnt know it yet, and i bet you think ur straight too...hahaha!" Worst joke I have ever heard, why dont you laugh a little harder at your horrible joke.. learn how too make funny comments or stop trying...."Special Olympics Medal > D2 National Championship." _ funny as fuck, the annonomous who wrote this is hilarious and is clearly a bro . . You Rick Brotino are a clear brohater... Have you had a chance to have NYB's cock in your mouth yet?
Mario,
FUCK OFF
That is funny as shit, you are a homo. I hoe you are impaled by a giant dick.
Have a nice day....fag.
When i went to vegas i ended up at some whore house called pussy cats. Not having a choice in hookers sucked, i got stuck with a silver back gorilla of a slore. She asked me if i wanted a happy meal, i said wtf is that? she replied, a slip n slide(titty fuck) a lollipop(beej) and i forget what she called fucking but it was pretty funny. all in all not a bad experiance
Hey Mario, its me Rick! The "Ur like a gay guy that just doesnt know it yet, and i bet you think ur straight too" definately aint a joke man. I was dead serious, you are a real fudge packing fag, cause the only thing on your mind seem to cocks and mouths. Stop with your attempts of a come back (if you can even call that one) cause you are just making ur self look more like a bra by the second. You are getting hated on by everyone and their mother on this site(your included). Give up man! Seriously! Go crawl back into your hole, reminisce about your D3 rugby days, shove a gun down ur throat and pull the triiger so you can spare everyone with your horrible comments.
HAHA, Rick why are you getting so upset? Bras get upset, bros don't, come on man your Rick BROtino greatest bro ever remember? I mean you practically invented bro, and your blog name is epic! how did you think of that?..anyway, try not to let things bother you so much, go break something if you have too thats what bros do, they definitley dont take frustration out on blogs, perez hilton takes frustration out on blogs, just keep being such a bro your awesome man!
haha oh mario, you seem to just know me so well. i aint upset man, i just pitty you. stop reppin ur lame ass shit. Why AC slater by the way?
Look, heres the bottom line. Bros love sports,maybe more than anything else(just another debate), if you work hard, win big and smash alot of heads along the way..anybody can fuck with that, even if your too cool for D2. . . AC slater is one of the oldest bros I know. He LOVES his muscels, showing us this by frequently kissing his biceps, and is know to many as a male shovenistic pig, AC and Bros alike dont fucking respect slampieces, and therefor I think this validates him as a bro fo sho . and dont pitty me I fucking throw big weight in the gym, drink a shit ton of brew, and get down with hot ass, regularly...my life is good
i dont know about a bro fo sho but i guess we can agree to disagree on this one. AC was pretty bro in that show, but that was a 90's tv show and Jesse spano thought every fucking dude was a male shovenistic pig, which proly included screech too so i question your validity. the real bro on that show was zack. pimpin all the hottest girls (kelli) and every girl wanted him while getting away with everything and doing what ever the fuck he wanted. Mario lopez is a E! tv hack and has proven no bro cred since the 90's. wake up
new topic man
you bros are gettin silly
I went to 'cuse, prob the biggest lax school in the country and no one i know even went to a single game, us real bro's were getting buck pregaming for no reason n hollering at girls off the porch yelling 'porch season, roll over or get rolled on'..much more bro than some ppl with sticks with nets on them tosses a ball at their boys
Fuck "lax" thats some queer as shit. just think about your fucking equipment, another bro hater on your fucking team is likely to comment on your "stick skills" while you focus intently on gaining control of the head by stroking the shaft. im suprised your stick doesnt deliver cumshots to your bro hating fucking head. Down south bros say fuck lacrosse lets play a real fucking sport. Down south we fucking live by football and baseball. True bros rep the fucking south and get more slam pieces then anyone else
lax kinda started the whole bro thing, so if you have never picked up a wand in your life, your a bro-hater for sure
ok so i love this site and all but there is quite a few bros that play a real college sport. as a hockey player who not only played lacrosse but the most amazing sport ever.. i would have to say that hockey players on average get more box than tim tebroo could ever beg his fat bitch of a mother who made him so religious.. thats right bros hockey players are the shit
vegas is not bro at all. in fact any location outside of the eastern united states is not bro. any place where random new money fucks are free to drive around in stretch hummers and wear graphic t's with blazers is not bro. vegas is "that one special place" where the bro is completely in his element? wtf?? have you never been to ack on the fourth of july? did you not go to an elite new england boarding school? have you never stepped foot in a fucking fraternity at a prestigious private college? i bet you wear abercrombie and voted for obama you communist
Played college fball. Slammed plenty pieces. My one commment - Duke Lax team. True bros... 'nuff said.
Football players: Busted white girls/hot black chicks
Ballers: Broads who can pop lock and drop it
HOCKEY PLAYERS: anything they fucking want.
Laxers: Anything the hockey players give to em.
All you need to do is say you play puck...and shes already got ur pants goin at it like a fat chick trying to suck the last of the icing off her fingers...
Bros! you gotta gave that one bro who's dad goes to Vegas like once a month and gets comp't multiple rooms at the best hotels and free money, Airfare, and shit cuz he spends more gambling then he spends on your tuition, plus he's prolly got slam pieces on speed dial cuz he's still a fucking bro king.
Ok, all these bro-hater queers above trying to say that lax is a Bro sport clearly need to have their balls re-attached, because lacrosse is gayer than 50 drag queens having a circle jerk.
First of all, lacrosse was introduced to this country by fucking French Canadians - that fact alone automatically eliminates any possibility of lacrosse being even remotely Bro. Second, it's boring as shit. Third, it's only played by pussies who got cut from the real Bro sports at their HS like football and baseball. And finally, you fags try to make lacrosse seem like a hardcore contact sport by wearing completely unnecessary football-sized pads and thick-ass helmets, even though you'll see harder tackling in womens soccer than you will ever see in lacrosse.
Seriously, nobody (especially slampieces) gives a two shits about lacrosse. You will find more spectators at a fucking pre-season WNBA game than you will at a lacrosse championship. Even tennis homos get more pussy than you guys do.
Lacrosse is about as low on the Brotem pole as a sport can be - somewhere between equipment manager for the soccer team and chess club. You lax fags should have hit the gym a little more in HS, then maybe you could have at least made 2nd string on the football team.
First of all, bros don't stay in shitty hotels or hotel rooms. We're bros. We go fucking hard. Not only do we get suites at the best hotels, but we don't even pay for them because we gamble so much. I haven't paid for a casino hotel room si...nce I was 18.
Second, I will agree that bros don't like clubs, personally, I fucking hate clubs. BUT, Vegas is the exception. Their clubs aren't like clubs in normal cities, their clubs are alcoholic amusement parks, and the premier venues for Vegas nightlife. If you can't comp your way in and to a free table, or at least afford it, then you aren't a bro.
Third, card games are bro?! Since when are the fat losers on WS of Poker bros?! The bro-est games BY FAR are roulette and craps. Bro's take risks and have the cash, and brains to back it up. You think bras are going to be more impressed by your lame-ass pair of 9's or by your 10th straight hit on the wheel, or by your 5th straight 7 on the dice?!
I highly recommend scrapping this Vegas article. It's garbage, and kills your credibility. Next time, go to Vegas as an adult, and spend and gamble like a bro-king, not like some 18 year old with $20 in his pocket from his parents.
I love BLTS but this article is complete bullshit bro-hating garbage.
Live in vegas... pound slam pieces that visit and leave every weekend. Winning
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