You’re at the beach on a #21 Bros Only Vacation. Obviously you packed like 10 bros into a hotel room so you are only paying like $15 a night. Fucking genius. You’re out at the bar getting absolutely hammered and hitting on anything that walks. That’s when you spot her across the bar. The target. Sure her face is average at best, but she has a pretty solid rack and keeps checking you out and smiling. You approach her and ask her name, it might as well just be “slam piece” because there is no way in hell you are remembering it. One thing leads to another and before you know it you have been making out with her for an hour and the bar is closing down. She’s obviously DTF (down to fuck) so, knowing all your bros are back in your hotel room snorting No-Doze and slamming brews, you suggest going back to her place. That’s when she drops it on you – “I’m staying in a hotel room with my parents.” Fuck. What the fuck are you going to do? That’s when you remember – I’m a fucking bro – nothing gets in the way of my late night pounding session. Time to improvise. Somehow, through your 14 hours of drinking haze, you think back to a Gazebo by the Ocean and after 30 seconds of convincing the slam piece (it’s not that hard, after all she is a whore) you make the 4 block trek. Next stop: Bonetown.
I seem to recall saying this before, but bros fucking love banging slam pieces. Honestly, does it get any better than bragging to all your bros the next day about the slaying you did the night before? Yes, it does. By being able to honestly say that you banged in a place that’s not a bed, not only will you get a shitload of bro points, but you will also provide bro points to your bros for simply knowing you. Being about to tell a shitload of stories about where you’ve banged is essential for any aspiring bro king. Not only does it tell others that you get laid all the time, but it shows that you are so fucking amazing that slam pieces will bang you anywhere. Here are a couple key points for any epic non-bedroom banging spot:
Public – Yeah sure, banging in your hotel bathroom is cool and all, but come on, there’s a fucking lock on the door, there’s no fucking danger in that. In order to get a shit load of bro cred, you’re going to want to do the dirty somewhere that you can get caught. A couple years ago one of my bros, the big guy, banged a girl on the beach. “Oh who hasn’t banged a girl on the beach, you’re not bro at all!!” Shut the fuck up. Not only did he bang her on the beach, but he did it when the sun was up at like 7am. Oh and did I mention he could see children playing on the nearby condo porch? Don’t worry; they were hidden by the garbage cans on the beach, so they were straight. The thrill of possibly getting caught is topped only by getting caught. Anytime you can say, “Yeah, some old man told us to stop banging, but I told him to go fuck himself and kept pounding away,” you have had a good night.
The More Ridiculous The Better – Anytime that you can get the response of “What the fuck is wrong with you?” followed by a fist pound and an “I’m proud to be your bro,” you have done your job. By being able to both shock and amaze fellow bros, you get a shit load of bro points. Imagine strolling back into your #32 Bro Pad the next morning and having this conversation:
“So where the fuck did you go last night?”
“Oh nowhere special, just nailed that blonde chick inside the Goat Cage at the fucking Petting Zoo!!”
How amazing would you be then? All your bros would go fucking apeshit and start calling and texting everyone. This is how legends are made. This is how bro kings find their throne.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
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145 comments:
thats awesome. My personal favorite is in the living room with all your bros passed out around you. You dont even need to talk about it the following morning, because half of them were probably watching (and pretending to be passed out) so they know you went to town on the slampiece.
My personal favorite is the bathroom at the bar. Everyone sees you walking in there with your slam piece, and all the bros in line give you mad credit. Then the best part is after you're finished, you can lose said slam piece and still be able to hit on other bras.
I prefer to be caught by the cops (biggest Bro-Haters of all) they make such a big deal about fucking in public, cause you know they aren't getting any pussy. If they are I hope they are all fucking girls with aids.
A fellow bro of mine fucked a girl in the ass on this couch at a party. Fucking nuts.
i love fucking girls in my jeep wrangler. always with the top off the bra and the jeep. the best is when your in a parking lot and some bro haters walk by and tell you to get a room to which you respond- fuck you asshole and then continue bangin. bros are the shit.
I have a few solid spots:
1) One time I was taking a slam piece to Bang-town on our balcony at the THE Brotel...OASIS Cancun on Spring Break. It got really raunchy until the Mexican Bro-haters showed up and we had to pay them off to avoid going to jail and having burritos stuffed in places to never be found again.
2) I have seen the Fordham mentions and I am a Fordham Bro. I have had bone seshes up against the backside of the Campus Security office there on occasion.
3) Not I, but one of my bros pounded out in the bathroom on the plane flight home from the Bahamas one time.... I will take Bro Points for knowing him
My bro smashed some strange (aka rando) slampiece in a portopotty during a division 3 football night game. Smashing slampieces in places that aren't beds are the shit. Bro cred is given on a graded scaled when bros get dome from slampieces in public too.
personal favorite is in the storage room at a frat formal about an hour into the formal then learning your frat didnt get the deposit back because there was a broken stereo and a used condom found on the floor in the storage room. oops
banging in places that arent a bed fucking rules...but that brosef stalin tshirt in the bro store is fucking gold. god damn bros fucking rule.
50 yard line of the football field is my personal favorite. Bros are the shit.
There's nothing better than being hammered banging a slam piece while she's standing up wearing all of her clothes. Anytime you can bang a chick without having to look at her while maintaining the ability to leave at anytime you are a fucking bro.
Charlie Sheen in The Chase is the ultimate bro because he gets laid, while driving, with the whore wearing all her clothes while in a high speed chase. Bros fucking rule.
The best part about bangin slam pieces in places that are not beds is that there is no doubt a legendary story to go with it. Why does a bro bang a slam piece anywhere else than a bed, well it really comes down to the story that the said bro can tell all his bros gaining more and more bro cred until finally his bromometer explodes from an overload of legitness. Bros love telling stories about how legit they are during the ultimate bro sesh (meeting of the bros or bro session). If one of their bros isn't there for the bro sesh because he's still passed out from the 30 beers and 10 jager bombs he destroyed last night it's no big deal cause the story will be posted on facebook that very day. Facebook is where bros connect in a less intimate setting but it nonetheless keeps bros up to date on the goonery that ensued and it allows any bro at anytime from anywhere to let all the other bros out there know that he nailed a slam piece on the roof of his parents house, in the back of cop car, or in the oval office.
Some other good ones:
1.) Hot Tub - its a classic and you can dump the chicks head underwater right before you finish, she freaks out and its also freakin awesome
2.) On the roof of a beachhouse - because its the shit and you can just roll her off when you're done
3.) Have to give it up to the Charlie Sheen reference, in a moving car - nothing says that a slampiece is in need of a boning like putting her life in danger
So its junior year and me and the bros are rolling deep to our homecoming football game. Obvs weve been pregaming and needless to say im absolutely shit faced. It was around the 3rd quarter that an old slam piece (with the appropiate nickname of simply thursty) couldnt resist my broness and suggested we go someplace else. Well its my homecoming football game so i dont want to miss this but on the other hand im horny as shit right now so i didnt know what to do, until i remembered im a fucking bro. I brought that slam piece to an athletic shed still in full range of the field and banged her against the wall. I did her while watching my bro score a touchdown fucking epic. Bros are the shit.
That "poser" is no bro. Negative bro points for saying "obvs"
if im not mistaken nyb has used obvs many times in his posts and since he is a broking it is more than acceptable for anyone to use said word. Also if im not mistaken you are clearly a brohater for missing the message in the post and instead making fun to try and salvage your ego that is manifested in the physical form that is your asian sized penis that is closer to resembling a vag than any has never been used on anything except for your own hands/your dog. I hope you get hit by a bus
obvs is total bro-hater, and if NYB wants to use it thats fine, its hs site. your story never even happened, you just wanted to feel like a bro - stop coming on this site dbag
Banging a slam piece at waterpark on a water slide that is shut down while watching a concert at your annual brovent frat party is the shit and highly recommended. Bros love to get caught- except by current slam pieces. Bros are ultra sneaky
Spreading the broculture around University of Arizona.
Love banging out chicks on your bro's beds.
once got down in an electrical closet in a bar in Adams Morgan in DC. a busboy walking in on us, I paid him $20 to leave us alone, and we finished.
Love being a bro.
on a dorm room roof. in winter. pussy juice froze on my nuts. instant brocred
So me and the Bro's have this big ass bar rented out in Tennessee for the Gators-Vols game. 100 of us, 200 slampieces. Odds in our favor. Charter buses up from Gainesville getting hammered on party balls and cheap champagne the day before, but obviously popped some addys when we woke up so it was all good. The bar we're at has a back room with a neon sign above it reading "Orgasmatron" So obviously, after slamming 10 red bull vodkas on the open bar tab one of my bros goes back to investigate, slampiece in tow. Turns out the orgasmatron was some sort of vibrating cushioned horse-saddle meant to do exactly what the name implies for dirty dirty slampieces. So after getting her warmed up on the 'tron my bro closed the curtains and copped some halftime dome. Of course he encouraged her to be enthusiastic about it, because no bro misses part of the game.
Bros love halftime dome.
I don't have a banging story but I have some fucking sick handjob stories.
1. Handjob on the dancefloor at a bar in miami. This bitch was a total slut. The bouncers were fucking bro haters though and told us to stop. Obviously I just took that whore into the back corner and let her finish the job.
2. Me, my bro, and his slampiece were leaving a party when two random bitches asked us if they can get a ride back. Obviously I was fucked up so I was talking complete nonsense in the car, making up random facts about T-Pain. All of a sudden one of them starts giving me a handjob in the backseat with her friend watching and my bro and his slampiece in the front seats. When I finished I yelled "T-Pain loves handjobs!" I let everyone know what a slut that whore was.
I had a bro bang a slam piece in the hot tub of the condo complex next door to ours this year at spring break. Only it was in broad daylight and there were little kids playing on a balcony overlooking the pool. Not only were they fucking with kids watching, other bros were outside. One bro did a cannonball onto them during the sex, then threw the girls phone in a nearby pond. Then the bro doing the banging was too drunk and peed inside of this girl. Then the police got called.
Some other fun names:
Poundtown, Bonezone, slamland.
Getting a BJ in the backyard has also been called nature dome.
Not unlike Charlie Sheen, I made my slampiece ride me on my drunken highway trip home from Seaworld, after an abropriate amount of roadhead. Driving was done by looking over her shoulder, and my bro was getting roadhead in the car following behind. That's a true bro-dtrip
handjobs wtfff negative bro points. Comin back from house party im in the back seat with a super drunk bra with my bros and his bitch in the front. the car is dead silent and all you can hear is the bras giving us brojobs right before we pounded them when we got home.... DONT BRAG ABOUT HANDJOBS FUCKIN LOSER
I was on a bro-cation to Vegas none the less when this slam piece I had just met at a bar wanted to fuck. I stay classy and banged her in the hallway of the Luxor. Fuck them if they can't take a joke
The most bro location is on the 50 yard line of your university's football field. Nothing gives you more bro points than the glory of hitting a slam piece from the back while gazing at the stands of your football stadium.
I THINK ALL TRUE BROS NO THAT WE TAKE BITCHES TO POUND TOWN. I DONT KNOW WHERE THIS BONETOWN PLACE IS BUT I NEVER WANNA GO THERE
KNOWING THE BEST POSSIBLE BRO LINGO IS VERY IMPORTANT TO BEING THE BEST BRO YOU CAN BE
This past Saturday, while waiting for a flight to a Bro Only Vacation in Buffalo, NY (for an ultimate weekend involving the birthplace of wings, subsequent shits and tailgating brocurrences) I banged a Jamba Juice slampiece in the handicapped bathroom. True story, hand to God.
best place was fucking this slampiece in the hotel pool in cancun about 3 in the morning with this slut. hell yea i busted all in the pool and laughed the next day when everyone was swimming in my jizz. then again with another slampiece on my balcony. it was one of those nights where you felt like the fucking man for slamming that bitch so long that she had to quit. but then like a bro made that slampiece finish the job with a bj
all bros love beach week but the one thing better then going to beach for a week of hardcore raging is going to 3 beach weeks. after passing out at 10am then waking up to our neighbors who are also on beach week that we didn't know. I started talking to this major slampiece for a little she said something about having a boyfriend that was at there beach house right next to us but i wasn't fucking listening. so I took her got some dome then railed it out on the beach then right when i was about to bust inside her all of her friends who were on a search party for her found us. I finished up then gave her back. the best thing was I saw here and the boyfriend kissing the next day, I wonder how my dick tasted? MSM
in the ocean, middle of the afternoon, in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic!!! WOOO!!!
While I was flying the plane I made the bra get in my lap. Mile high when your the pilot is the best
Took a bra up into the tennis courts stands at FSU and slammed it. Game. Set. Match.
I like the outside stairwell. Not only is it dirty and ridiculous, but there's an off chance that anyone who walks past your frat house will be able to see. Not only your bros.
When I was in the military I convinced this slampiece to give me a smoothie aka blow-hay in the captains chair of my ship. She swallowed the Captains Seaman, bro on.
Bangin a slampiece in your grandma's house gets you major bropoints in my humble bropinion
One Brotastic evening after pounding a few J-bombs and other drinks i hooked up with some bra.I decided to multi-site this bra in the girls bathroom, the basement living room, and the foyer of the fraternity house. The the bros at my frat are so legit they were commenting on how poundtastic my form was.
porta-john at a concert, recieving applause upon exit from all fellow bros
Last spring break we took a #21 brocation down to panama city, and literally had 10 bros in one hotel and we literally payed 15 bucks each... classic.
ANYWAY... Last night there we have like a handle and a half of Captain Morgan left between me and my best bro. We both tank it on the beach and end up passing out all day only to wake up just in time to rage at the club.
Get to the club and there is a beezy giving me eyes all fucking night... needless to say we make-out for like 30 minutes before I #23 drive her back to her place wasted as fuck. The strip is long as shit and there is traffic out the ass so as I stop to get some drunken munchies and wait out the traffic I start getting road-dome from this piece in the drive through... doesn't stop til we get back to her room.
Needless to say I disrespect this bitch all over her face in the car... Next we get to her room and go for round two, bent her over the railing on her balcony... headed to the shower bust it open in there and as soon as her roommate gets back we head down to the beach and I make sure she has a sandy fucking vagina in the morning.
At that point in time I grab my shit and drive back to my hotel (this goes from like 12-7 non-stop ass pound). Of course after such an EPIC fucking night me and my bro have to drive back up to Virginia Tech from fucking Florida. Sick week. Oh and I think at one point I gave her the shocker... Owned.
Smashing slampieces outdoors is always satisfies... I let this bitch ride me while I layed on the ground in a park, I got grass all over my ass but it was obviously awesome. It was even better, when after waking up from a nap it had become dark outside, and I took said slampiece and bent her over against a tree. Damn it feels good to be a bro.
Best Location: The seat of a Crusin' USA arcade game. While playing. AND I won the race, cuz I'm fucking Bro and I can masterfully operate any vehicle while blackout.
Best Story: Copped a dome piece in the bathroom stall at an all day concert. I got kicked out to a standing O from all the dudes in the bathroom. Even the dude kicking me out gave me a nod of approval. Obviously after getting kicked out we went back to her car and finished the job. Then I made her buy me a ticket to get back in on her parents credit card. Fucking Bro.
fucking bros are the shit. bros love banging in places that aren't in a bed. my best un bed banging place was some slam piece under a boat in the middle of a fucking lake..bros love fucking bitches in random spots and they are the shit. bros
Back of an ambulance, on the stretcher.
Bros kick MFA (mutha-fucking ass)everyone should know. Some guy had a handjob story about half way on this comment shit... NOT A BRO. A bro is able to convince any slam piece to give him dome in place of HJ's. Period. Oh, and under a boat? That is neg bro cred too. WTF do it in the boat. Obviously you don't want to get a fish-shit infection in your dick, and especially if this is a prospect soul-mate, you don't want to have to deal with her blaming you for getting a fish-shit infection under a boat because you had such a "bright" idea. college bathrooms, empty classrooms*, ski lift dome, and mountain slamming. This is how a legend is born.
The most legendary spot where one of my bros has banged is in the jail parking lot. After getting completely fucked up the night before, he proceeded to mace himself and other party goers in the face just for fun. It was fucking awesome. This lead to him being arrested, and he had to spend the night in jail. The next day he dialed up a slam piece to come bail him out. Not only did he get her to free him from jail, but he fucked her in her car in the parking lot. Not only did he fuck her in the parking lot, but he fucked her so long that her car battery died. He was then truly established as a Bro King.
bangin slam pieces in random places is the best thing ever! some places that i slamed at were on a police boat (long story), in a port o potty at a concert, on a pier in broad day light, and on a stage at my frat during a huge party! BROS BEFORE HOES
dome in her dorm kitchen at 3 am, where i busted in her mouth and she coughed it up all over the table which she eats off of every morning
got wasted at this house party and this drunk ass bra wanted it bad, so i found the first place i could, in the laundry room on a table of folded clean clothes(not any more). her best friend walked in on us and i told her to come back in 15 mins till we were done.....legendary
A bro of mine once got a HJ (then soon became a BJ) on a plane. Not in the bathroom, but right in front of everyone. He was coming back from England, and apparently everyone was asleep.
Still, thats ballsy.
I got another good one. A bro of mine banged a girl on a stage at a frat party. To make things more epic, he was wearing a baby costume (had an actual diaper on)
My three fav spots of sophomore year
1. College chapel
2. Center stage in the threatre
3. the library
I picked up these 2 bras for the first time and while I'm driving to the movies she starts blowin me in front of friend. Her friend even gave her a hair tie
One time, when i was a young fratdaddy, i was banging some total slampiece on my pledge ed's couch. of course i didnt fucking ask, and he walked in, caught me, and kicked me the fuck out cuz he didnt want me nutting on his couch. So, the only logical conclusion was to take this bitch to the basement and completely rail her over the house washing machine. while it was on. bro as fuck.
"This is how bro kings find their throne."
So true. Me and my frat bros were obsessed with railing slam pieces in unconventional places. Here's a few places catapulted me to bro-king status freshman year...
1. On the roof of Chi O sorority roof. Once I finished I beat my chest like king kong on top of the empire state building, then threw the used condoms in a cup of beer at the neighboring frat and nailed these two want to be bros.
2. The chapter room of our rival frat... epic
3. The elevator in the student center.
4. On my doughbag econ teachers desk, then getting caught by the janitor. All good, I just explained to him how important my father was.
5. On the Balcony of my frat castle that overlooks campus. Slampieces love the view.
And finally, one game that my frat bros and I played all through college consisted of tying to slay slampeices on other bros' beds. Always funny.
My piece and I were totally wasted at a Georgia game and decided to go meet some friends after the Dawgs victory at a bar nearby. During our stroll over, we start making out in the street and I quickly noticed we were passing a playground of an elementary school. I banged that slampiece in one of those forts at the top of a slide. Since it was made for 4-year olds, I banged her doggie style while standing up. Our heads were out the top of the thing and we got a few shoutouts from people passing by. Ahhh, college memories...
ive got a story and location of browork at its best. my sister's wedding in italy. we get to the reception and im surrounded by germans and italians. no one is doing shit, so like a bro i head straight to the open bar to slam a beer. the bartender is easily a italian slampiece. that one is mine. she gives me the smile all bros know that says "your dick. my mouth." so to test it, i tell her, "im going to fuck you retarded later." she keeps smiling. she doesnt speak english. bro challenge accepted. after the reception im smashed, can barely walk, dont know a lick of italian, and just finished grinding on every german girl there. game on. i walk over to the bartender slut and point to her, then me, then out side. she smiles. easy day. i take her behind this brick wall within ear shot of everyone outside. she wont shut up, even when i tell her to. so i figured it out. i whipped out my dick. im a bro, that shit was like crack. and it was in her mouth before i finished pulling it out. she starts pulling off all her clothes and i just slam her right there. i pull out. paint the canvas. and throw her clothes, causing her to run around naked. fucking hilarious. i zip up and head back to the party where everyone is giving me bro-cred for being better then them. international slampieces.
you always say bros are so rich but then you say condoms are expensive and you packed 10 bros in 1 room to save money. you arent sounding very rich to me
That's because any money you don't spend on needless shit like condoms or beds to sleep in can be blown on bar tabs, weed, and slampieces. Keep your bro-hating comments to yourself.
On the tuna tower of a 32' SportFish with her dad driving below.
Personal Favorites:
Laundry Room of a college dorm
Common Area of a college dorm
Once had an unsmooth bro moment and forgot to close the blinds and didnt realize until her shirt was off and she was half way out the door because there was a crowd of 15 or so people outside clapping... guess I wont be clapping her tonight.
my man bro vitale fucked this slam piece on a playground in Alexandria Virginia in the recent snow storm. fucking bro king if you ask me, he had a lip in while he was doing it too
after a night of pounding bbrews with the bro in my frat me and some slutty slam piece headed to the Cathedral of Learning we have here at pitt. 3 am in the morining im slammed that diamond speckled pussy and blew a nut on of all places... the Chancellors desk on the 40th floor. nothing better than blowing a nut on the most important person on campus's desk
top 3
1 hot tubs are pretty fucking legit.
2 bed of a pick up and parked in a random driveway
3 blow job in front of her sleeping roomate
bros,
so i was at my Big Bros shotgun wedding, i know major game over for him but whatever shes hot as fuck and he gets to tap that every night, so after the ceremony and spotting the potential slam pieces, i went on the prowl. i hit the open bar immediately and started pounding down shots of grey goose and chasing with shotgunned beer and i see this hot ass bridesmaid, i made my move and grinded up on her at the reception in the auditorium next to the church. now heres where the story gets wild, she wants to bounce and i know whats going down, Im getting laid. we peace out and shes really wants my cock, so we bounce to the nearest empty room, the church confessional. lets just say we she was screaming for god while i went to poundtown.
bros i lost my card on a douchebags porch when he wasnt home. pretty fuckin sick
haha 69 comments before mine. i'm slightly proud of myself. best place ever was the skatepark by my house. we did it underneath the halfpipe while these little 13 year olds were doing their thing. no one even noticed.
at my school basketball game under the bleechers with my boyfriend. if yer a bro, that totally makes me a braaa. holla.
during a winter olympics theme party at my frat house (where slam pieces still find a way to dress like a total slut), my bro took a disgusting slam piece with huge tits and banged her on a matress in the basement where we pledge, oh and the matress was covered in piss/puke from pledging
In my bro's frat's chapter room and then the next time on the living room couches. Seeing people sit on them at the party the next night was highly satisfying. Bra-out.
I banged in a teepee at a sorority field party one year. When we finished, the whole party was standing around the teepee and we got a rousing applause..
Banged a girl on the couch in my friend's basement while she was upstairs, average at best i know but wait.
Banged my neighbor on top of her roof as the sun came up.
thats fuckin awesome i freakn banged the shit outa this one girl on my bros driveway at like three in the morning
Xmas break i went on brocation with my bro cousin in the caribbean. families rented a boat. daily coronas (one of the broest beers) from 11 am onwards until getting off the boat to go out. new years rolls around and after fondue (the broest new years food) a mix of ronas expensive red wine and jack n cokes its midnight and were watching fireworks with the brohating family (bros only like to watch fireworks if there with a bra). When they finally end we stumble off the boat and being well-networked bros we get in touch with a bro whos got a table at Nicki Beach. after hours of champagne tequila and grinding on tables with bras its 6 am and i have nothing to show for it besides 2 cougars who’dlove nothing more than young bro dick. me and my cousin are dealing with the bro-hating circumstances of going home braless so i get one of the cougars numbers (she gives me her business card!) like a forward-thinking bro just in case and we leave the club. when we get back to the boat both of us are pretty upset. whats this i see tho? my cousins little sister and her friend who are juniors in highschool are dancing classlessly on the deck of the boat. like a slampiece who wants nothing more than to be thrashed the friend looks at me with the understanding that she is going to get her wish. my cousin passes out downstairs at this point leaving only me his little sister and her friend. like a hungry slampiece the bra then tells my cousin that if shes tired she should go to sleep and she’ll be down soon. the advice is taken. now its just the two of us and imthinking of the endless possibilities but im a smart bro and i no that if my little cousin hears about it she’ll be a bitch and were trapped on a boat. thus when the friend walks over to me and wraps her arms around me i tell her that my cousin can't find out. in response the slampiece grabs my cock and whispers that she can keep a secret. those are four of the broest words around so now im fully devoted to slamming her and am considering the sickest place to do so. at this point theres a brosunrise outside and were in the middle of the ocean so answer is the roof. as i drag her up there i realize that people are gonna get up soon and while its bro to get caught fucking a girl by your dad or uncle getting caught by your aunt might be the least bro thing of all time. for this reason i decide that there might not be the time to slam and that a blowjob (true bros know that dome is at times better then sex) is the best option. this girl has double ds but her face is average so i take off her shirt and bra and tell her to suck my dick. she happily obliges and i throw in a titty fuck as well. at this point im alternating glances between watching my dick get sucked and the boats passing by. like a well behaved slam piece she swallows the entire load and rolls over. now theres time to reflect on what ive accomplished: skull fucking my little cousins friend who is a junior in high school on the roof of a boat in the middle of the atlantic without ever having to kiss her (true bros no that theres nothing better than getting right to the point without having to go through the pleasantries of making out). now im ready for my 2 hours of sleep because i have to get up and pack for my flight thats in 4 hours. thus i go downstairs to the bedroom only to find that my cousins passed out on his bed and like a bro-king is lying face down in a pool of his throw up. while the smell is truly awful my last thought before my head hits the pillow is of the truly bro contributions weve made to the brommunity. one last thing: any self respecting bro knows that getting blackout and throwing up is bro in itself but whats even more bro is when youve clearly been caught but you insist that you didn't puke at all. since my cousin is a bro the next morning he accused me of getting into bed with him, yacking everywhere and then going to sleep in my bed. this of course could never have happened but then again i was in the bro-elite for the night so sleep-puking may well have been my final act of broness
so im a chick but i have to say that this is pretty fucking awesome if you ask me. the guy i was banging and i would go to the beach right near his house all the time at night. so we've fucked all over that beach, up against the lifeguard house, and on the fucking lifeguard stand. i did mad brocaine of his dick and he did mad rails off my tits then since i'm such an awesome bra i sucked him off while he sat at the top of the lifeguard stand and looked out into the water like the bro-king that he is. then he bent me over and fucked me doggy style since taking it from behind is my fave.
oh, and its always raw dog, fuck condoms.
oh and best part.. went to the beach with some of my fellow bras the next day and they pointed out "haha look some skank left her panties under the lifeguard stand." oops.
bra time.
let a hottie bro fuck me in a pool at a grad party with the rest of the party watching on. starting my bro fucking early ;)
grad party the next day, let a bro fuck me in a shed while i screamed his name. got some deserved applause from his daddy when i walked out of there fizing my skirt.
father/son bro-kings if you ask me.
Slammed a chick who I wanted no part of but she kept following me walking home from the bars. Ended up in the grass behind a row of apts next to the a/c unit. Made sure I completely took all of her clothes off while only pushing my pants down so I could run like hell afterwards.
Smashed hams with this hottie in the line for a "haunted trail". Like a haunted house but outside. Snuck behind a tree right next to the line, did the dirty deed, slipped the old shocker, and hopped back in line. Killed the waiting in line too.
Banged a chic on a private beach. "Well what's bro about that?" All of sudden I hear horns and cheers. I looked up to see about 5 people I didn't even know drinking on a boat about 50 yards out. They all poured shots and rose their glasses to me before carrying on. It doesn't end there. This slam piece loved my meat. We went to a nearby playground and i slid right in on the slide. I could hear kids swinging on the other side of the play ground but I didn't give a rat's ass. It was her neighborhood, not mine.
Got a story to share with the brommunity. So last weekend was my town's Irish fest. Me and my bros are at the bar running shit like usual. We are dominating brews, jager bombs and anything else in sight. We set up a flip cup table in the back of this place and just created a huge scene with our brotastic antics which of course attracted slam pieces by the ton. I end up running into this slam piece who ironically I met at a different irish fest a couple of months ago during the fall. I went home with her that day but didn't end up banging cause I was too wasted and passed out instead. Next morning I had to escape her parents house before daddy dearest woke up. Anyway so I run into this bra and of course me being a bro, she is all over my shit again. I proceed to make her buy my some shot and after crushing them I leave with her to go take care of business. We are walking back to her house when we pass a park. I had to piss so I go into the park to do that then it hits me to just deal with the slam right here. Ended up banging the bra out on a park bench and although it was dark, it was in full view of anyone who walked by and a couple of people did. Afterwards I went back to the bar cause it was only around 8 pm and you damn well better believe I wasn't calling it a day. At this point the slam served no further purpose except to annoy the crap out of me when we got back to the bar so I just proceeded to berate her for being too drunk and embarassing me and then ditched her to go grind on and hook up with other slam pieces. Before the day was over, I hooked up with 2 other chicks and ended up drinking and partying for over 14 hours. All in all a brotastic day and one in which I may have reached bro king status among my fellow bros. The bo-cred I got for my brohavior that day was the icing on the cake.
BRO OR DIE!!!
Dude, walkin home from school with your girl, wana get it on. pass through a park and use the park bathroom. That's how bros do it
Possibly my best broment was on Halloween. We all know brah's pussies run wild when they dress like sluts, who was I to say no to this certain slam piece.
It's 4 a.m. and this chick is tired blowing me in an alleyway, so we start heading back to her place. Long story short... we don't make it. I lean her over the railing on the 3rd floor staircase and do a little railing of my own. I'm bottoming out in this slam piece like I was trying to cause internal damage. All of a sudden, the biggest bro haters (besides cops) of them all show up: Rival Bros. So some SigEp fucks walk into MY staircase as I'm cracking this bitch open at the hips. What happened next was a truly bro-cred moment to them.
They completely let go of the fact that my house vandalized the shit out of their party last semester and stole everything that wasn't bolted down. We met eyes, they looked at each other, looked back to me, and started chanting about how much Greek Life is the fucking shit.
The slut and I reposition so that they don't accidently rub up against me as they're walking down the steps. We exchange pounds and high fives, one of them calls my girls a slut and slaps her ass. True Bros from another House right there. When it all comes down to it, bros fly together.
One of my favorite bro-pound stories is as follows
My bro king pledge dad a while back starting molding my path to greatness by giving me tasks each weekend to slay pus, cause as a bro we can slay any pus we want anytime we want. So he points out this girl (she came in at around an 8 to 8 and a half.) So I do my thing, and next thing I know I'm walking this slut back to my bropad, unfortunalty because my roommate is a bro he is also slaying some slut in our room so its time for me to think quick to get laid. So I drive drunk (mastered art of bros) over to my schools engineering building and slay this slam piece in our biggest lecture room right up on the professors stage. To top it off after I finished slaming her pus and leaving this slut very satisfied I notice a security camera right above our head. So I also added to getting some old skeeze campo man one last thrill at watching young pus get slamed.
On the road to greatness.
Bro out!
A few of my awesome spots throughout highschool/college...
-On the slide of the elementary school i went to
-A park bench at a big park/lake near campus. ended up getting "banned" from the park
-engineering hall on campus. i was still in highschool, chick was in college
-behind a dumpster outside of a bar, as the bars were closing
those are probably my three best spots that are not a bed/couch/fouton or any normal place in or around my house.
My personal favorite was bangin some slam piece on a lifeguard stand with families fishing no more than 50 feet away around 6 pm.
I am building a solid Bro credit all over the world (mainly Boston, Rome and Athens) and would like to share a story about one of the hottest slam pigs I have ever found myself fratting on in my life.
- It was on a plane ride from Washington State back to Boston that I convinced this cum-dumpster blonde to smuggle weed in a tampon shapped bag shoved up her snatch across country. Half way through the trip I grabbed the string and removed the weed only to proceed into the airplane bathroom to bang her wet meat curtains. I was having fun until the stuartist knocked on the door demanding me to exit. Being a Bro King I finished the job before complying with his request. Upon my exit I received an applause from the majority of Bros ridding coach.
Best nut-busting broments of all time:
-in the grass by the airport runway, with 747's taking off and landing overhead
-in the bathroom of a college library (men's, of course--other bros would never call security)
-getting dome while sitting in the back of a canoe and paddling it
-on a camping trip (same trip as the canoe) spit-roasted a bitch with my best bro in the woods standing on the shore of a small woodland stream, the bitch fell naked into a bramble bush afterwards she was so drunk...and then later she gave my other bro sloppy dome in the tent that we were camping in in front of everyone, and he also fucked her but then passed out halfway because he was too hammered
-bathroom of a NYC subway station (fucking nasty)
-Ol' Dirty Brostard
All bros will appreciate this one;
On a friday night 2 months ago, I was on a sick hotstreak. Went to a house party, got wasted, and got with 3 slampieces there. Our entourage needed some new bids, which was conveniently at the bar (3 slams to every 1 bro at my college); next stop, pound city. At the bar, this 9'er hoodrat started askin for some slayin, but on the walk back to my dorm, she couldnt resist the bromones. Walking next to the science building, la slampiece said to me, "lets see if the door is open." This building contains a major personal bro hater: my academic advisor. I told her this, and she got the hint. Since the cleaning staff thankfully enough does not close doors, I proceeded to slam this piece while sitting in my advisor's chair and fuck her on his desk. It ended by me givin that bitch a good amount of protein for her stomach. To my advisor-GPA that shit. To my fellow brosefs-just remember, dome cities are always in need of a subway system.
yo dont mind if i fucking jump in here like the true bro i am
but i took this fucking dirty broad out to a fine meal at a restaurant that was really fucking expensive because i'm a classy ass motherfucking guy. anyways when that slut of a waitress tossed us our check, it hit me - i'm a bro and bros do not pay for overpriced shit. had to wash dishes in the kitchen, made the fucking slampiece help too. next thing i know this classy ass kitchen is now a full on bonezone and i'm banging the bra against the sink behind the spice shelf.
BROS FUCKING RULE
Pool table
One time JR year in college my date and I were blacked out at her sorority event and since they didnt have a house they had the event at some shady bar. Needless to say grinding occurred for 15 minutes max then we decided to head to the parking lot. I boosted her up into the back of a random pick up truck and started boning immediately. This would have been a stealthy move had there not been a patio on the 2nd story of the bar with lights shining and about 15 people looking down on us. All I remember later was their president yelling at me about how people came up to her and said some guy with a white ass and a black bandana was banging some girl the the back of a random pick up truck. She said I would be banned from all future events and one month later I went to her formal cus she knew she couldnt risk the consequences of banning a bro.
I fucked my gf on a hotel rooftop in NYC because we were staying with her family. We saw people in apartments on 50 yards out watching us bust just kept going at it. I finished her from behind looking out over 3/4 of manhattan from 30 stories up.
one time i slayed my slampiece in her kitchen pantry while her mom was totally home doing chores about the house. i got shit tons of bro cred for that.
Slayed in the back of a U-haul at the U-haul Depot next to our local college bar... Loved it and she had the nerve to say she wasnt a slut!
My bro and I were tag teaming this bra in a apartment complex pool....soon 5 people roll in one of them was a bra with a dildo in purse asking the bra we were banging if she needed it...she said she was getting enough and we continue to bang her with a crowd.
Once i got the opportunity to bang this girl in a catholic school chapel.. of course i took the advantage.
i banged a girl in the treehouse of an elementary school. we were interrupted by a child and his parents looking to have a fun filled evening on the swings.
I may be a bra but this is worthy of posting. The bro that I've been slamming for close to 2 years now and I went over to the country club around 4 am and had a session on one of the pool chairs after breaking in and skinny dipping.
Some of these stories are just ridiculous...bro fist pounds to you avant-garde aspiring bro kings out there!
Fuck yes
Second time I ever fucked a girl back in freshman year of high school was on the mini-golf course on a cruise ship, halfway to the Bahamas at two in the morning.
bro points? thanks.
Railed a bitch in my buddy's backyard. Walked back inside and he was like "yo where were you?" I said "people wash sheets, people clean bathrooms, people mop floors, but no one washes the fucking yard bitch!"
i laid the pipe to a nice slam piece in the dug out. not only was it the best sex, we had a ten dollar bet on who could kill a bottle of jack daniels first, she bought the bottles. not only did i get free booze, ten bucks, and laid, i busted in the slampieces mouth when she finished me off
Sophomore year of high school I banged a girl in a demo shed outside of home depot that was next to the movie theater we went to.
Middle of a soccer field...on freshman move in day...twice...Welcome to College Froshies.
I'm at a grad party right after high school and this drunk slampiece Erin from my class wants to buy a ticket to poundtown. This chick was always an annoying cunt but she was smokin' hot so of course I'm down to give her a ride on the brogo stick. Long story short we drunk drive back to her parents' place and start rawdogging on the rug in her living room because her parents are asleep upstairs.
I'm impaling the shit out of this slampig and after awhile she tells me to finish up because she already came and really has to pee from all the drinking earlier. The bitch should know better not to give orders to a bro, and when I see a framed picture of her mom (total MILF) on the side table next to us, I hatch a plan. I pretend to bust inside of her and she quickly hops off the baloney pony and runs to the bathroom. While she's in there, I grab the picture of her mom, bust my bro-load all over it, and put it back on the table before she comes back from the bathroom.
As she comes into the room I'm already getting dressed. I tell her it's late and I should be getting home (fuck that, I'm headed straight back to the party, bitch.) and that I'll call her the next day (I didn't even have her number). Rolled straight out the front door without even closing it behind me and took a piss on the hood of her dad's Jag parked in the driveway before getting in my car and driving back to the party.
Part of me wishes I had ever called that slampig again so I could find out what happened when her parents discovered my splooge all over her mom's picture. Oh well, I'm sure they yelled at her for being such a slut.
Bros rule.
I got a bunch. My girlfriend was pretty much dtf wherever. Once we did it at country club. We went and found a dining room that wasnt being used and I fucked her on one of the tables. Another time we went to a park and just parked up in the parking lot. Other people were around in there cars but it was at night so we didnt give a fuck. We almost got caught by her friends though who had gone there to smoke weed. I also fucked her on her kitchen table while her family was upstairs in their rooms. Then there was the time I fucked her in her dads beammer and then in her moms volvo convertible with the top down. I fucked her in her pool a couple times too. Oh shit I just remembered the time i fucked her on her dads office desk. hahaha oh and on a trampoline in her front yard. there are probably other ones but i smoke too much weed to remember. lol.
bro points?
My personal best was when i was fucked up (obvs) at some frat party when i started hooking up with a random slam piece on the dance floor. I'd have done it right there, but the slam piece wanted to go somewhere else. We tried hitting the bedrooms and bathrooms but there were bro-haters everywhere who wouldn't let us, they were prolly just pissed off they weren't getting any. So i took this broad outside looking for places to bone. Because i'm a bro that automatically makes me a fuckin genius and came up with a solution- fuck in the back of a car. I know you're thinking, been there done that, but it wasn't my car. Some idiot parked outside the frat and left his car unlocked. Leaving the car unlocked was basically an invitation for me to pound it out in backseat of his car. and the front seat too.
The other day my bro invited me to come over to his girlfriend's house to go swimming. His bitch invited two girls over and my bro invited another one of our bros and myself over. Obviously I wasn't going to turn down an opportunity to see three bitties in bikinis and slam back natties with my bros so I was down. About three hours later we were all sitting on the trampoline crushing back our sixth or so brew, when my bro calls me over to spark a bowl. After we blazed he told me to grab the others and take her out of the way so he could rail his girl on the trampoline. So my bro boned his bra and then left right after. So the only four people left were my other bro and his girlfriend and her friend. We were sitting on the trampoline when my bro sexcommunicated me and told me to get rid of the other girl. I took the girl over to one of the pool chairs to help my bro out, but then I realized that I was the only one in my Bro-Possy not getting any ass that night. So i took matters into my own hands, and after spitting a little game I had that slampiece so wet she made New Orleans after Katrina seem like a street puddle. I looked around for a place to do the dirty but the trampoline was taken, but then I found it. Back behind the trampoline next to a tree there it was glowing in the moonlight, his girlfriend's childhood swing set. I proceeded to take my bitch over to the top of the slide and punched in her ticket to the pound town express. After I busted inside her (Pulling out is for pussies) I rounded up my bro and left. I never even got that cum-guzzlers number.
My crew and I don't mess around, and no place is too crazy or too dirty for us to slay some bra's.
If you have a story about banging slampiece's in odd places, comment on this page. Major bro points to someone who can top a swing set.
Not bad...but being a badass Bro GF, We've some winning moments...
Banging on campus in a classroom
Banging on campus inside of someone who works for admissions' office
Banging on a ski mountain in the Glades
Banging on a playground
Banging in some preppy ass private schools gazebo during a lightening storm and getting caught by the PO
Banging in a practice room of a music school right before my audition, while playing piano.
Banging on the stage of the music hall
I'm gonna go ahead and say being Bra rules. WIN. Oh, and all girls are sex fiends. Unfortunately for Bros, you can't do without us, but we always have vibrators.
Trampoline bro.
Just transferred as a junior to a new school. So I go out to find my self a slam piece to earn some Brospect at the new house. This little freshman piece says shes from my high school and knew me or some shit like that. We start talking and I ask if she wants to and as any bro should know if a white slut says she wants to go back to your place and smoke you are the conductor of the pound town express and she's ready to hop on pop. Some how I get lost on the way back to Machi-land and end up on the wrong side of this fence that cuts campus off from the townie houses. I see a trampoline in a back yard and throw her on and slay away. Bust all over her face and start walking home. Bang two more times and sent her home in a derby day tee. Got mad Brops from house.
I love bangin a slut in hot tub or on crowded dance floor....this is best if and usually the slam piece is dressed like a slut (short skirt no panties)
Definitely, my favorite place is right outside my fraternity. Pounding that slam piece against a wall while all the freshman (who couldn't get into your bangin party) get to watch as a true bro gives it to some random dick warmer.
i also got it on outside at OASIS cancun on spring. mexican security guards were bro haters and kicked us off of the beach. lame.
Outside the Sydney Opera House at 3 am...enough said
If any of you bros are daring enough here is a great fucking maneuver:
While driving, have your slam piece sit on your cock as if doing a sitting up reverse cow girl
She steers and rides like crazy, you work the pedals
theres a shitty little diner in gardiner maine called the A-1 Diner, its on stilts next to a river, and a week ago i banged a slampiece underneath it. theres a busy street next to it. it was chill.
The bridge of a 46 foot Post deep sea fishing boat docked next to dozens of others. Spring Break '010.
On my 21st birthday, I fucked a midget in the elevator of the Hard Rock Hotel in San diego. most epic brocomplishment of my life
security was waiting when we reached the ground floor; they told me i needed to leave immediately. i informed them that "i have a suite, so you can kindly fuck off"
go to pound town, bonetown sounds like the bone yard where you call up your old sluts to take them back to poundtown.
some slam back in my sophmore year of high school. bitch totally thought we were dating and had that whole boyfriend/girlfriend act going on, but i had been slaying another slut the whole time we were "going out"
anyways,me and the first slam totally started hooking up in her pool one summer night, she went down for the brojob, and next thing you know im railing her on the staircase descending into her pool. finished up right on that bitches stomach, and the best part was her parents were right inside watching a movie the whole time.
Bros kick ass.
back in the 70's, doggystile on the concert floor during a zz top performance
at some bros house party i was bangin this wasted slam piece on top of a dryer during a steam cycle. i took her so hard to pound town i broke that dryer and successfully blamed the slam piece. i fucking love bros.
one time at my bro's place i was crushing some buds and spitting some game with this bra from my #103 joke class, but this place was full of bros and slam pieces from wall to wall. i was horny as shit and she was doubtlessly wetter than africa's fucking rainforest, so i took her to "my place" which turned out to be the cab of a bulldozer i found a block away and broke into. needless to say, when it was time to yahtzee, i pulled the fuck out and busted all over her and promptly left her there. upon jumping down from the bulldozer, a fellow bro from the party saw me and started chanting "bull-doze-HER" and applauded me. bros are the shit.
my favorite banging "broment" was definately on a college road trip weekend. Went back to her friends place, banged her on the futon.. with two of her friends blacked out on the futon... BBYYYAAAAAHH
Bros how can i go about becoming good at banging slam pieces? Somehow i'm 18 and havnt banged a single bitch. I feel like i'll never be a bro if i cant do something that bros do so effortlessly.
There was a time I was in the Bro Glory Land of Punta Cana and totally banged two hella-sluts in not beds twice in a night. I convinced first said hella-slut to leave the awesome slut palace bar on the resort we were at to leave and go like two resorts over to bang in that pool, because water sex is sweet and totally leaves the slut in a terrible place: wet, humiliated, with no towel in sight and possible police officers.
After getting back to the brosort we were at I met some Canadian gutterslut (eskihoe?) whom I conned into banging on her balcony while my best bro banged her friend in the room. Totally brotacular trip. God bless fake mexicans and dumb tourist sluts
One time I bange this slampiece at her parents house in their bathroom, when both parents and her sister were home about the house. The dog was scratching at the door.
Another time I banged this slut against a wall in the middle of a frat party. People were walking past us too drunk too notice. It was fucking ridiculous.
fucking while strapped to a running horse
outside under a tree at my bros bonfire, or on her washer and dryer
I pounded a slam piece on a lawn and got head from another in a laundry room near my old apartment
Boning a slampiece on the frat-castle turret, hanging her tits over the edge facing the sorostitute house across the street!
I was driving a girl home and flat out told that if she didn't give me road head that I was pulling over and she was walking home (it's a 15 minute car ride so thats a nice long walk). of course she obliges and her head is down before we left the parking lot. she gets of my dick long enough to say "tell me before you come". thats just practiacally begging me to make sure it's a surprise. so she starts deepthroatin' and came down her throat...she must not of noticed because she keep going until I got to her house and then apologized and promised me a good fucking whenever the hell I wanted
i got a handie freshman year of high school in English class... i was in the front row a bunch of bitches saw... i didn't go without pussy for the remainder of the time i was at that school and my favorite place to get laid is in a childrens playground that way i get two things acomplished, getting off and teaching future bros
on the staircase of my frathouse.... my pledge brother drunkenly walked past us and we fist bumped--it was chill
One night I'm leaving a bar in downtown broffalo. Obviously I'm fucking shit faced and stumble outside, of course a slam piece from a couple years ago spots me, (of course she did, she obviously recognized how jacked and huge my bulge is cause I'm a fucking bro) Needless to say I get into a cab with this stacked bra, we start making out, and the next thing I know she lifts her skirt up and sits on my broner reverse-cowgirl. Mohammed the cab driver starts yelling "no, no, no!!! not in my cab. I don't pay any attention to the fuckin doon coon cause I'm an American bro, and we fuck and get our nut where we want. Bro's fucking rule.
I boned a slam piece in while driving my parents car following them to my brothers house. She got on top of me and rode me while I looked over her shoulder and drove. I also banged her on her parents couch while her dad slept in his room.
This one time I fucked this major slut in the common area of my dorm. Some people tried to get in saying they wanted to study, but I was like, "Fuck you nerds!" And continued on with the pound sesh! The next night I fucked this total jail bait in a classroom who was visiting from high school! Some of the female choir of my college broke in saying they had to rehearse for a concert but I was like, "Fuck you dyke sluts! Why don't you suck a dick like this bitch!!"
Sluts rule!!!
best spot ever was on a driveway that was completly exposed to the road as cars were driving by when
best place, fucked a slam piece in a construction site in the middle of the afternoon with workers all around. gave it to her hard. her screams echoed all around. it was fucking unreal. won major bro points!
Got a bj from a girl watching some shittyass movie with her parents in the other room. Hellraiser is a movie that will get you involved in some bro-seeking activities.
Bros hotel stairwell wiyh people lower on it that could hear my slam pieces moaning
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