#20 Quoting Movies

So you’re hanging out with all your bros, shooting the shit, playing some beer pong, talking about how awesome you are, then it happens. You and your partner Beirut the shit out of your opponents by both hitting the same cup. This calls for a celebration, and what better way to celebrate than yelling “Yippee Ki-yay Motherfucker!!” and moving into an interlocking high five and chest bump. But why was it necessary to quote “Die Hard?” Because first of all Die Hard is the shit and everyone knows it, but more importantly, it’s a crowd pleaser.

Bros love to quote movies because they are a proven commodity. Bros never have to worry about people questioning their bro-ness after quoting a movie because even if the joke crashes and burns (which is highly unlikely), you can still just let people know you were just quoting “Role Models” which will immediately validate you. Often times those who questioned your quote will apologize and give you a high five, agreeing with you that “Role Models” is the shit. Also, if people don’t get the quote, and then admit that they have never seen the movie, you and your bros can make fun of them. Making fun of people is awesome because it makes you feel better about yourself. It also lets everyone around you know you are better than that person.

Here are some quality movie quotes that bros love to use. When used in the correct context, you can seriously enhance your bro-cred.

•  A Few Good Men – “You can’t handle the truth” This quote is best used when some bra you are hooking up with is asking you if you are cheating on her. When you drop this gem she is sure to start laughing and the subject will quickly change to how great a job Jack Nicholson did in this movie.
  
•  Top Gun – “You’re dangerous” Bros love Top Gun. Bros never want to be Maverick though, he’s too much of a pussy. Bros love Iceman, and that’s why bros love this quote. The beauty of this quote is that it can be used at any time. For example, my roommate told me last week that he was going to Giant and asked if I wanted anything. I told him he was dangerous. We met eyes, pounded fists, and broke into “Highway to the Dangerzone.” It was awesome.

• American Pie – “Fucking right doggie” Bros like American Pie and more importantly they love Stifler. Bros quote pretty much anything Stifler says, especially from American Wedding. This quote works in many situations, but perhaps the best is when your teammate hits the last cup in beer pong.
  
• Tommy Boy – “Did I catch a niner in there?” This quote works well when one of your bros is too drunk to talk. After he blurts out some non-sensical statement, lay this one on the room. They will inevitably go apeshit with laughter. It also works well when making fun of little kids with speech impediments.
  
•  Zoolander – “I feel like I’m taking crazy pills” This can be used anytime someone breaks out some ridiculous statement. You want that person to know they are full of shit and no better way to let them know than by doing a Mugatu impression. An example of this might occur when some bra tells you that you are a bro-hater but you have obvs been drinking non-stop all weekend. Fucking bras.
  
• Chapelle’s Show – “Yeah, What, OK” – When I was back in college Chappelle’s Show was by far the most popular thing across campus. You couldn’t walk through the Caf without hearing someone yelling out a one-liner from the most recent episode. The Lil’ Jon quotes have stood the test of time. Often you will see bros huddled in a corner at a party screaming “YEEEAHH” “WHHHATT??” and “OOOOKAAYY” at each other non-stop. Bros are the shit. Also, I know Chapelle’s show is not a movie, so I don’t want to hear it from you “Anonymous’s” out there.
  
• Swingers – “You are so fucking money and you don’t even know it.” – As referenced in #17 Swingers this is the quote that all bros use to get themselves fired up to go out and grind on random girls. This quote can also be seen in facebook profiles.
  
  
•  Anchorman – “I’m kind of a big deal” – Now, I know what you are saying, “There are so many better Anchorman quotes, why would you pick this one?” That’s because this quote is perhaps the most popular quote among bros on facebook. If you ever see in the “About Me” section on facebook the simple phrase “I’m kind of a big deal” you better believe you are staring at a bro. This is seriously the most effective way to let people know you are awesome.
  
  
• Dumb and Dumber – “So you’re telling me there’s a chance – YES!” – This is pretty much interchangeable with “What was all that one-in-a-million talk back there. This is best used when the bra you are talking to/know you are about to score with tells you she has a boyfriend. Sadly, this happened to me just last week as a hot bartender that was totally into me told me she had a boyfriend!! Can you believe that? I thought we were soulmates! You really just can’t trust bras.
  
  
• Old School – “Frank the Tank!!” – Far and away the top bro-quote. This is reserved for one occasion: beer bonging. It is literally impossible for a group of bros to bong beers without someone starting the “Frank the Tank” cheer. Also, once it is established that one of your bros is the best beer-bonger, he is known going forward as “Frank the Tank.” As part of his obligations of being Frank, he must beer bong whenever his bros cheer. Upon completion of said beer bong he must then do the fist pump move and gun fire that Frank does in Old School. If for whatever reason he cannot complete these tasks, his role as Frank the Tank will be vacated and the next best beer-bonger will be called upon.

Obviously, this list is going to be highly controversial, so feel free to leave any quotes I may have missed in the comments section.