Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Welcome

Welcome to Bros Like This Site– yeah this is a direct rip-off of StuffWhitePeopleLike.com but I take protein, and you don’t, so you can go fuck yourself.

Anyways, I wanted to start off this blog by explaining just what a “Bro” is.Wikipedia defines “BRO” as “Indian military maintainers of army and civilian roads in border areas, better known as ‘Boarder Roads Organisation.’” First of all, Wikipedia is full of shit and they don’t know what the fuck they are talking about. At a high level, a bro is a guy. A girl is a bra and they have no place in this conversation.

A bro can be defined by these characteristics

1) Gets fucked up. By far the most important quality of being a bro
2) Takes mad protein
3) Hooks up with mad chicks.
4) Above all loves hanging with his bros and would do anything for them, even let them drive when they’ve had too much to drink.

Now, I know what you are thinking – “Oh, I know what bros are, they are the guys who everyone wants to be/fuck!” Wrong – little do you know there are bro-enemies out there:

Bras – this is pretty much just a nice way of saying bitches, which bros always refer to women as. They try to kill our buzz by telling us we are “lame” or that they are “pregnant.” They can’t be trusted and there is no room for them in any capacity.

Bro-Haters – Better known to you as Nerks, Dorks, Dweebs, or Recovering Alcoholics. These people do not like to get fucked up, which is rule number one of being a bro and therefore I hate them. You can find often find them at the Library, Church, AA meetings, or Laser Tag arenas.

Look back here in the coming weeks for updates on all the Shit that we Bros like and tips on how you yourself can become a Bro.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

Bro's like strippers and blow

Anonymous said...

Dude, blow is for those guidos. Bros just drink mad brew and totally finish off a fifth of JD with 1 or 2 of their other bros.

Anonymous said...

Oh my gay! Do you suck dick to get your protein?

Ned's Younger Brother said...

Talk shit about me. Talk shit about family. But never, NEVER disrepect my protein.

Allie said...

best website ever. so accurate. i think that im in love with you bro

Ned's Younger Brother said...

Thanks Allie - although I'm sorry to disappoint but bros don't fall in love.

BroMurph said...

As a fellow bro, I'm a little disappointed I just found this site. You should fuck Allie

Hack said...

This site is UnFuckingBrolieveably FUNNY/TRUE! You should publish this shit in a book and call it "Brocabulary". Even tho the site is free I'd buy it so I could keep one handy on my nightstand and the other on my mantle above the fireplace!

Anonymous said...

this website is sooo sick! me an my bros love it! who ever mad this is god, your like Tucker Max

Anonymous said...

^except you're not a complete dipshit.

The Brophet said...

Tucker Max is a complete piece of shit non-bro. Know how I know that? Because he "remembers" everything he does after blacking out... which is impossible, BRO.

This site is hysterical.

fsu bro said...

Bros love protein, cocaine, steroids, drinking on wedensdays, raw dogging it, slamming pieces and all their friends, etc...

Anonymous said...

To the above FSU Bro... I 2nd that 100% Florida State bros bro out harder than anywhere else. Go Noles

LaserTagBrofessional said...

Uhhh according to Barney Stenson, the original and greatest bro, Laser Tag is awesome.

Brollard said...

Awesomest website ever bro its all so true

Anonymous said...

I'm going to have to disagree you on one point NYB. Bros can chill at Laser Tag arenas, PROVIDED they are fucked up all to hell, that was a fun night... or so I've been told.

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